Gender Respect Project 2013-2016

Aiming to help children and young people to understand, question and challenge gender inequality and violence.

Teacher Blog: Carol

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Talking group – secondary

Session Two – Consent

Carol – The government have recently passed a bill to make consent a compulsory subject for 11yr olds.   Lets think about this. What does it mean not to have consent?

J (boy) – It’s rape.

Carol – Remember to talk to the whole group not just me. Is it a good thing to have lessons for eleven year olds on sexual consent?

J (boy) – No some families might think it is not a good idea.

Carol – Are parents concerned?

I (boy) – My Mum would be concerned. They are only doing it because there have been quite a few cases.

Carol – How much rape do you think there is?

J (boy) – Quite a lot.

A1 (boy) – There was the thing in Rotherham with the taxis, lots of under-cover people, Jimmy Saville – no one expected that.

Carol – Is it just about pinning someone down?

S (girl) – We did it in Crime Awareness. It’s rape if you are under thirteen, if there’s peer pressure and…something else.

Carol: If you are drunk.

L (girl) – It’s good we learn about it. It might happen in later life and we might not have the confidence if we don’t know.

Carmel: Does learning make you safer?

Carol asks S not to be on her phone but she is looking up rape statistics.

S (girl) – 85,000 rapes in England and Wales last year and 400,000 sexual assaults.

Carol – Those are very large numbers and they are only the ones who went to the police. Are there any reasons why people might not go to the Police?

J (boy) – You might be frightened or ashamed.

Carol – Or very angry.

(Got distracted by taking about school dinners cat-food, dog-food)

A2 (boy) – I was playing a game and I pressed the chat button and the next day someone was chatting to me and said, “Do you want to have sex?” and I said “No” and she said “Do you want the best girlfriend ever?” I said I was a girl and turned the chat off.

Carol – Do animals give consent to sex? Described guinea pigs mating – talked about bringing baby guinea pigs into school for them to see.

The group got excited and were pressuring Carol to bring them in soon.

Carol – I will not be pressurised into bring them in!

Some laughter – they saw the link

A1 (boy) – Is bringing animals into school allowed?

Carol – It is for me. Do you think rape is used as a slang word now? On Grand Theft Auto there are rape rewards where you get to rape a prostitute.

D (boy) – They do it to advertise the game more.

S (boy) – Like Pretty Woman.

Carol – Who would that appeal to?

? – People who watch porn.

A1 (boy) – Is it women rape men or men rape women?

Carol – Mostly men play. CBBC are bringing out a drama based on GTA for Cbeebies.

Shock from the whole group

J (boy) – They will learn to play it.

L (girl) – It’s frightening, rape, heist, sexual violence, robbery.

A2 (boy) – I’ve got GTA on my ipad and I play it, you don’t have to be 18.

D (boy) – On the shop it asks you for your age but not when you play it.

H (girl) – I have to ask my parents to download for me when I want things because it is on their account.

S (girl) – The law isn’t working it’s rubbish, it’s just on who buys it not on who plays it and there are no restrictions on watching.

Carol – Why should there be restrictions?

D (boy) – It’s a bad influence. Some children might not be very mature.

Carol -There was a case recently of a ten year old boy who watched something and then he sexually abused his seven year old sister.

H (girl) – There are age restrictions but you can put in a different date of birth.

S (girl) – My cousin’s tablet wouldn’t let us watch a video. We only wanted to listen to a song but it came with a rude video.

A1 (boy) – When something has age restrictions it makes you want to watch it more.

Carol – So it makes it worse?

S (girl) – But I don’t want to watch a PG or a 12. 15 and 18 are good films. I like horror movies.

I (boy) – It’s like smoking, young people do it because it makes them look cool.

Carol – When someone tries to control you it makes them rebel. –e.g. of own children.

L (girl) – I’m not allowed to watch 16+ programmes. My parents would have to watch it.

? – A ten year old boy would want to watch it then tell his friends, it’s being cool.

A2 (boy) – I had a friend who kept talking about women. I told him to stop. I died in the game I was playing so I had a rest. He was on my ipad watching women having sex. I said this is not for your age and he gave it to me. Then my parents came in and I was holding the ipad and it was still playing. – long explanation of parent’s reaction.

Carol – When you have seen images like that they can stay with you for a long time.

I (boy) – What if you saw your children watching porn?

Carol – They wouldn’t choose to do that they are only 6 and 7 so it would be traumatic for them. They know about sex .

Carmel – My boys are 18 and 21 and I would be worried about it.

S (girl) – Models in shops always show perfect girls and men see them and think all girls are like that.

H (girl) – On YouTube there was a film about people who were dared to look at porn on a site and you couldn’t see what they were looking at but you could see that they were really shocked.

L (girl) – Can looking at porn cause post traumatic stress?

Carmel – You can get flashbacks from porn, just the same as with post traumatic, the images can seem to always be there and they won’t go away.

A2 (boy) – In Iran there were no rules, my friend watched a CD with really horrible sex it was so bad I broke it.

A1 (boy) – Can you get scarred if you see someone naked?

Carol – Well it could have the same effect that you can’t get the image out of your head if it had really shocked you.

Time ran out the group disbanded without any time to sum up.


Name Questions Comments Total
A1 (boy) 3 2 5
A2(boy) 4 4
Carmel 1 2 3
Carol 11 11 22
D (boy) 3 3
H (boy) 3 3
I (boy) 1 2 3
J (boy) 5 5
L (girl) 1 3 4
P (girl)
S (girl) 1 1
S (girl) 6 6

One thought on “Teacher Blog: Carol

  1. Pingback: Good news story: One Billion Rising in Sheffield – media clips and interview | V Day Sheffield Rising 2015

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